Role-Playing Ideas & Scenarios She'll Love

Not Sure Where to Start With Role-Playing? Pick One of These 4 Scenarios

There’s no need to be nervous. In fact, think of role-playing in the bedroom as an all-purpose improvement for your sex life. If you’re a newly formed couple, it can allow you to explore kinks you might otherwise be too shy to try. On the other hand, if you’ve been together for a long time, it can be a fantastic means of rejuvenating the sexual energy between you. 

“No matter how much you love [your partner] or are into [them], regardless of how hot [they are], sex can become so pedestrian, boring and blah,” says Laurel House, a dating and relationship coach and host of the “Man Whisperer” podcast. “Role-playing is a great way to initiate a little extra excitement.”

So if you are looking to generate that extra little bit of excitement, how do you pull it off? Lots of people want to have more exciting sex, but knowing exactly how to do it can be extremely daunting. 

“If you’re new to role-play and feeling awkward, start with sexting,” suggests JackAndJillAdult sexpert Kayla Lords. “It’s low-pressure and gives you time to think about your responses. You’ll feel a lot less pressure to 'perform' if you can take your time to respond and edit yourself before you hit send. Once you get comfortable with that, bring it slowly into the bedroom. Start with flirty conversations in person and take on personas or roles during sex.”

At some point along the way, you’ll want to have a serious conversation about what is (and what isn’t) OK within your role-playing. 

“Just be sure that, before you act out your fantasies, you thoroughly talk about what you are and are not comfortable with,” says House. “I’m talking about storylines, word choice, physical touch, and boundaries. This is supposed to enhance, not hurt your relationship.”

Role-Playing With Costumes and Props

When people think about role-playing, their minds might naturally gravitate towards doing it in costume or with props. After all, when role-playing is shown in popular media or in pictures accompanying role-play advice articles, the tendency is toward arresting visuals. 

French maid’s outfits, Venetian masquerade masks, nurse’s uniforms, a police officer’s hat and (gulp!) nightstick — but while those extra little details can make for a fun time, they’re not totally necessary to have good role-play session. 

“Costumes and props aren’t necessary at all for role play,” says Lords. “Your mind can often fill in any gaps. That being said, some people like costumes and props because it helps them get into 'character.'”

Jess O’Reilly, host of the “@SexWithDrJess” podcast, agrees. “Costumes and props can help you to get into character,” she says. “In fact, some people use outfits (e.g. lingerie) as a ritual to remind themselves that they’re transitioning from roommates to lovers at the end of the night.”

But before you rush to the nearest costume store to flesh out the details of your deliver boy costume, hold back. Start with what you have, and as O’Reilly suggests, “only buy a costume or prop if you really want to add it to your fantasy.”