Rose Nylund's Funniest St. Olaf Stories

The beloved 80s sitcom The Golden Girls is filled with hilarious and heartwarming moments shared between its four main characters: Blanche, Rose, Dorothy, and Sophia. Perhaps the funniest Golden Girls moments of all, however, come via Rose Nylund’s (Betty White) tales from her hometown of St Olaf, a small town in Minnesota affectionately(ish) dubbed the “cradle of idiocy” by the other Girls.

From anecdotes about St Olaf’s most famous hairstylist, Vidal Sassbogadotter, to memories of Uncle Lester, who only had one tooth but still loved corn on the cob – they’d cream what fell on his pants and he’d eat it later – Rose Nylund is a bottomless well of nonsensical stories about her beloved homeland.

St Olaf is such a Golden Girls staple that the town is referred to in almost every episode. Though we only see it twice, we’re painted extremely colorful pictures through Rose’s rambling, often irrelevant, stories about its peculiar inhabitants and hilarious customs.

Every St Olaf story is a gem in its own right. These, however, are the best of the best.

Oh, THAT Great Herring War

“This is exactly what happened during the Great Herring War. … The Johanssons wanted to pickle the herring, and the Lindstroms wanted to train them for the circus. … Oh, not that kind of circus. A herring circus. Sort of like Sea World, only smaller. Much, much smaller. But bigger than a flea circus.“

Season 1, Episode 25: “The Way We Met”

No two St Olaf stories are exactly alike, but a lot of them mention herring. “You know what they say: you can lead a herring to water, but you have to walk really fast or he’ll die.”

Among the best herring-centric stories is the Great Herring War. Yes, THAT Great Herring War. Between the Johanssons and the Lindstroms, who couldn’t agree on what to do with the herring.

This scene is executed so masterfully and is so undeniably hilarious that Betty White’s costars, Rue McClanahan (Blanche) and Bea Arthur (Dorothy) burst into uncontrollable laughter when Rose explains that they only shot a herring out of a cannon once. “But they shot him into a tree. After that, no other herring would do it.”

Ingmar, the Bird Impersonator of St Olaf

“Now, I know no one wants to hear any of my stories right now… But you need to hear about my cousin Ingmar. He was different. He used to do bird imitations. … Let’s just say you wouldn’t want to park your car under their oak tree.“

Season 6, Episode 12: “Ebbtide’s Revenge”

This St Olaf tale comes as comic relief in a particularly deep moment for The Golden Girls. Sophia’s only son, Phil, just died from a heart attack while trying on knockoffs at Big Gals Pay Less. Sophia is grappling with the fact that her son wanted to be buried in women’s clothing and wondering what she did wrong to make him that way.

In an effort to show her that there was nothing wrong with loving Phil exactly how he was, Rose tells the story of cousin Ingmar, whose mother was so ashamed of him that it ruined her life. This is one of the rare instances in which Rose Nylund’s St Olaf story was not only relevant but helpful (albeit ridiculous).