The Art of Good Morning Sex: Benefits, Positions & More

Have you ever woken up in a deep state of arousal?

Whether it started in a sexy dream or sprang up seemingly out of nowhere as soon as you became conscious, it might be the only thing you can think about. And if you slept in bed with someone else, whether a spouse, a long-term partner or a hookup, your first instinct might be to try to initiate what’s commonly known as morning sex.

There is something special about getting it on in the morning — sex that’s not preceded by a date, flirty banter, drinking, or a day’s worth of sexual tension building up. It’s sex without taking off layers of clothes, sex without makeup or grooming products, sex without brushed teeth, mouthwash or breath mints. It’s sex au naturel without pretense, and instead, it’s just bodies, sensations and desire.

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To help get to the bottom of why getting lucky before lunch is special, and what you need to do to make it happen, AskMen spoke with three different sexperts to put together everything you need to know about morning sex.

What Is Morning Sex?

For starters, there’s no exact time limit on what constitutes morning sex. It’s usually before noon, but late risers can technically enjoy morning sex in the early afternoon. It’s really more about waking up and having sex before you do anything else than it is about what the clock’s showing.

“Morning sex is, typically, sex you have first thing in the morning before getting out of bed or starting your day,” says Kayla Lords, sexpert for JackandJillAdult.com. “For some people, it’s sex before sun-up or before your alarm goes off. For others, it might be the sex you have when you first wake up, regardless of the time of day.”

And there’s a reason why morning sex just makes so much sense.

“Testosterone and energy levels can be higher in the morning, so many people report that they feel more primed for sex,” says Jessica O’Reilly, Ph.D., host of the “@SexWithDrJess” podcast.

“If you have a penis, morning wood, also known as nocturnal penile tumescence, is part of your regular sleep pattern, and you likely get erections several times per night,” she adds. “When you’re awake, the neurotransmitter norepinephrine constricts the blood vessels of the penis to restrict blood flow and prevent erections. While you sleep, your levels of norepinephrine drop and allow extra blood to flow to the penis, resulting in the morning wood — which you can put to good use during morning sex.”

Apart from the fact that there’s a decent chance you wake up already physically read to go — aroused, relaxed and with little to no clothing on — morning sex also differs from afternoon or nighttime sex in other ways.

“Morning sex is different from the sex you have when you first go to bed because it’s more relaxed,” says Lords. “One or both partners are usually still sleepy. You’re groggy and primarily going on instinct.”

While that might not sound like the sexiest thing of all time, it can have its unique charms for some.

“For the partner being woken up this way, it can feel good to know that your partner wants you first thing in the morning before you’ve brushed your teeth, showered or even had a cup of coffee,” notes Lords. “Morning sex often feels more intimate than sex at other times of the day because just waking up and being sleepy is a vulnerable moment in the day.”

But while some are big fans of getting it on in the early hours, that doesn’t mean everyone’s going to be in love with the idea.

“Different people have different sex time preferences, which may change over time, so make sure to chat about it with your partner,” advises sex educator Kenneth Play. “The preference may be from conditioning (do they always masturbate in the morning?) or from their personal circadian rhythm. So most of the difference is dependent on the person, and how they feel about morning sex, but there can also be some fun to having a morning quickie as a sort of ‘special event’ or when you know you have to head somewhere soon.”

Morning sex before something — a regular work day, or a special occasion of some kind — can be an extremely pleasant experience.

“Morning sex can help you to start the day on the right foot thanks to the endorphin release associated with arousal and orgasm,” says O’Reilly. “From a practical perspective, morning may be the right time because it sets the tone for the day.

She also points out that morning sex can be a great option for couples who find they don’t have any energy left in the evenings.

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“By the end of the day, you can be both emotionally and physically exhausted, so if you love sex, get it out of the way before breakfast,” she adds. “Increased levels of oxytocin may also help you to maintain the connection with your partner throughout the day. Good sex can also lead to reduced tension and stress in your relationship as your body and mind reset after orgasm.”

How to Have Morning Sex: Dos & Don’ts

So what does good morning sex consist of? Let’s break it down:

Do Get Consent

Morning sex, like any sex, should be fully consensual for everyone involved. If one of you wakes up horny and the other one isn’t, ‘playfully’ trying to bully them into it is not a good strategy, and trying to start things off when they’re still asleep is an outright horrible one.

“Before you wake a partner up with sex, make sure it’s OK,” says Lords. “If they’re giving a signal that they don’t want it or aren’t responding, stop. Wait until they’re fully awake and ask them.”

Not only is sexual consent paramount, it also suggests that discussing the matter the night before is also a good idea. “Get consent beforehand and negotiate before you go to bed, especially if they are not a morning person,” notes Play, since not everyone will feel up to having a discussion about what they do and don’t want immediately upon being awoken.

That being said, if they are into it, here’s how to proceed:

Don’t Make It Complicated

One of the joys of morning sex is how simple it can be. You’re likely only half-awake when it begins, meaning there probably aren’t a lot of things to keep track of. There’s a time and a place for sex that incorporates a lot of toys, a lot of position changes, role-play and so forth, but morning sex is probably not it.

“Don’t overcomplicate things,” says Lords. “Pull the covers back. Pick a position that’s most comfortable for both of you. You can push your partner’s clothes to the side or help them get naked (assuming you don’t already sleep naked).”

Do Use Foreplay

While the sex doesn’t need to be an hours-long marathon, that doesn’t mean you can skip the basics. Helping to get your partner in the mood is a necessity if you want to have genuinely enjoyable sex, particularly if your partner’s a woman. In that case, she’ll likely need extra time to get in the mood.

“Morning sex can be a softer, gentler kind of quickie,” says Lords. “But if your partner wants and needs the warm-up of ‘foreplay,’ give it to them.”

Don’t Just Wait Until You’re in the Mood

If morning sex is something you crave that never seems to magically materialize, it might be because you need to plan for it a little more.

“Don’t wait until you’re in the mood (if you want to want sex),” says O’Reilly. “Most of us aren’t spontaneously in the mood — we have to get ourselves aroused, and then the desire follows.”

Lords has a practical solution for this: “If you want morning sex to be a part of your life, talk to your partner about sleeping naked to make it even easier.”

Regardless, talking to your partner about the idea of morning sex in advance can go a long way towards opening them up to the idea.

Do Practice Safe Sex

If you’re used to using condoms, that obligation doesn’t disappear just because it’s before noon.

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“Always remember to follow whatever safer sex protocol you’ve both agreed to,” says Lords. “If that means wearing condoms and/or using lube, do it. It would be a major violation of trust to pretend you ‘forgot’ that part.

Play agrees that having lube on hand is a key move. In case you aren’t already, consider keeping whatever you need for sex close at hand, such as on a nightstand next to the bed or at least somewhere in the bedroom, so you’re not tempted to go on without it in the heat of the moment.