Why Being Both a Realist and a Romantic Is the Best Way to Fall in Love
By April Leei’m Both a Realist and Romantic — and That’s How I Choose to Love Right Now. I Thought That Truth Would Come. I Thought That Truth Would Hit Me So...
By April Lee
I’m both a realist and romantic — and that’s how I choose to love right now.
I thought that truth would come. I thought that truth would hit me so hard, I would’ve had no choice but to acknowledge its presence.
I thought that the moment the veil was lifted from over my eyes, I would be rid of you. That when I finally saw all the reasons I had to let you go, I would finally want to.
It’s funny how the term "hopeless romantic" contradicts itself, because all one ever seems to do is hope. But when did having hope become such a taboo? When did we decide that being giddily and blissfully in love just wasn’t cool anymore?
These days, all anyone in the dating game cares about is staying “chill.” Because, surely, being “chill” guarantees more success in our relationships than being excited, passionate or hopeful ever will. Right?
We are too afraid of being kept in the dark, humiliated, hurt, or deceived. We think that it’s foolish to love someone, believing that they’re one person but not knowing who they truly are. To be so eclipsed by love that we can’t see where the story ends, or that it’s even going to end at all.
But it’s not. Choosing to see the best when you love someone isn’t a weakness — it’s a strength. Once you face the fear of getting hurt, you’ll have nothing left to lose.
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We're all realists until we fall in love.
People pride themselves on being realists, but being a realist is easy. Accepting things exactly as they are doesn’t make you any smarter, wiser, or braver. Challenging reality; challenging ourselves to do better — now, that’s bravery.
The way I see it, dismissing every opportunity you come across as “unlikely” or “improbable” is just an admittance of insecurity.
Chances are if you choose “being a realist” as your escape, it’s not because you genuinely don’t see the odds of it working out. You’re either too afraid of getting hurt, or you simply don’t want it enough to try.
Because whether you’re a realist or a hopeless romantic, whether you admit it or not, the truth is this: everyone sees the best case scenario, but not everyone dares to acknowledge it’s there.
And me? I refuse to accept anything less than the best case scenario, if I’m sure it’s what I want.
Marcus Vance is a cybersecurity auditor and technology writer dedicated to educating the public about online safety, data privacy regulations, enterprise security, and emerging cyber threats.
