100 Funny Birthday Wishes to Make Them Laugh on Their Big Day

Birthdays are typically a time of joy, which makes funny birthday messages pretty much a no-brainer. Sure, you could go for something sentimental, but whether you're looking for the right words to personalize a DIY birthday card, make a great toast, or just put together the perfect social media post in honor of the occasion, short birthday wishes that bring on the grins and giggles are always appreciated. After all, short of a serious sour puss, who doesn't like to laugh? So after you've pulled together a great birthday cake, festive decorations and the perfect present, take a minute to top off your special someone's very special day by choosing one of the following rib-ticklin' birthday messages.

We've found 85 highly hilarious jokes, puns, one-liners and more, ideal for anyone celebrating another year around the sun. Below, you'll find flat-out funny messages for guys and gals, along with hysterical quotes from famous people, short greetings and even wishes geared for after the fact, if you're running a little late with the birthday goodness this year. Because if there's any day worth saluting it's a birthday—like Betty White once said, "The older you get, the better you get. Unless you're a banana."

• Here's to getting as lit as the candles on your cake today!
• Birthdays are just like golf—if you don’t keep count it's a lot more fun.
• You might be prehistoric, but at least you're not extinct!
• I've already alerted the fire department, so go ahead and light the candles on your cake.
• Happy beer-thday, bud.
• Whatever you do, don't let aging get you down. It's way too hard to get back up again!
• May all your birthday wishes come true —except for the illegal ones!
• May you celebrate this birthday the way you celebrated the first one: naked and screaming.
• Happy birthday to a dude who isn't showing his age—or acting it, either.
• What did the bald guy say when he got a comb for his birthday? Thanks, I'll never part with it.
• Older? For sure. Wiser? Not so much. Happy Birthday, bro!
• You know you've hit middle age when your back is hairier than your head.
• It’s your birthday! You're now a year closer to being that old guy who yells at kids to get off his lawn.
• Happy Birthday, old man. So glad you're still alive and cake-ing!
• If anyone calls you old this birthday, don't worry about it. Just hit him with your cane and throw your dentures at him.
• Don't think of it as aging, think of it as leveling up. Congratulations and here's to a great year ahead!
• The best part of being older is that you did most of your stupid stuff before social media. Cheers to another trip around the sun!
• Happy Birthday, big guy! Don't forget to iron the wrinkles out of that birthday suit.
• If it's any consolation, in whiskey years you're just getting tastier. Happy birthday!
• Knock, knock. Who’s there? Abby. Abby who? Abby birthday!

• Happy birthday to my ride or die! I can’t wait until we’re old enough to terrorize the nursing home together!
• The secret to staying young is make-up—make-up an age, then stick with it.
• Is it hot in here? Must be all the candles on your birthday cake.
• I can only hope to be as great a woman as you one day. But, obviously with better clothes. Happy birthday!
• How do two pickle friends celebrate each other? They relish their birthdays, of course.
• Happy, Happy Birthday to the "she" to my "nanigans"!
• Happy birthday to one of the only people whose birthday I can remember without a Facebook reminder.
• Don't think of them as gray hairs. Think of them as strands of birthday glitter growing out of your head.
• This birthday, just remember: there's absolutely no shame in the Botox game.
• Another birthday spent together...you know we're going to be friends 'til we're old and senile, right? And then we'll be new friends!
• One minute, you’re young and fun. The next, you have a favorite burner on the stove. Which one is yours?
• You don’t look a day over 20. From a distance. With my eyes squinted. Happy birthday, bestie!
• For your birthday, I wanted to give you something that was absolutely wonderful, but then I remembered you already have me.
• Happy Birthday to someone who is comparable to fine wine and cheese. You just get better with age, lady!
• On your birthday, keep this in mind...you only look as old as your last selfie.
• It’s your (birthday) party and you’ll cry if you want to, though I don’t recommend it. We'll be taking loads of pics tonight and you don't want to streak your mascara.
• Friends celebrate friends on their birthdays. Real friends get you buzzed on your birthday. Good thing I’m the second kind.
• Here’s to another year of questionable life decisions! Happy birthday, rock star!
• Happy Birthday, queen! You definitely don’t look a day older than the age you tell people you are.
• You know, you've just turned the perfect age. You're old enough to recognize your mistakes but young enough to make a few more more.